PAD 11: The Deepest Ties

 

My Oma and Opa. Photo taken 2022.

PAD Challenge, Day 11 prompt: write a memory poem. The poem could conjure up an actual memory that you have from your childhood, or last week, or earlier this morning. Or the memory could be made up. Or the memory is just a starting point for a completely different poem. Your memories, your poems.

The Deepest Ties

"O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins it will be credited to you; in the day of your affliction it will be remembered in your favor; as frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away. Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord." (Sirach 3:12-16).

When a loved one has dementia,
It is hard to understand
How she looks the same as always,
But her memory is bad.

My Oma had this happen,
And a while I did not see,
But when in March I saw her,
She could not remember me.

I stooped down low to kiss her
On her forehead where she sat,
But her eyes grew wide and startled
As she asked my Dad, “Who’s that?”

Perhaps if I’d have shaved my beard
She might have known ‘twas me,
‘Cause I’ve only grown it lately
In the last two years or three.

But my Dad said not to worry,
For her mind is fading now.
Very soon we’ll say farewell,
We know not where nor how.

As autumn leaves that gently fall
Preparing for the cold,
So time fades to eternity
As blesséd ones grow old.

So how do I connect with her
With most her mem’ries gone,
Bereft of hope to share our lives
In verbal ways alone?

Ah, there are ways that I can see
Of service I admire,
So many people come to help,
Their hearts with love afire.

My Dad is great, he spends much time
With Oma in these days,
And though he is her youngest son,
Looks she with empty gaze.

His patience is a sight to see,
His calm voice and gentle touch
Convey to her the message clear,
“I love you, Mom, so much!

“You may not now remember me,
But I can for us both,
Because you gave me life and love,
Passed on your heart and soul.”

So now I think I understand
The secret that he bears:
The deepest ties can never die
So long as love is there.

Identity can seem to fade
As memories die out,
But only this side of the grave
Until death lifts the shroud.

As soon as Oma crosses o’er
To Heaven’s sacred shore,
She will regain her memories,
Along with many more:

How Opa stood so valiantly,
Steadfastly by her side,
Even when his heart seemed broke
And silently he cried.

How Dad and all his siblings worked
So patiently with her,
And all their spouses lent a hand
To help Opa endure.

How caregivers became members
Of the family for love,
By mercy caring for her needs,
A grace from God above.

So now I see, while it is sad
She not remember me,
A stronger love connects us than
Her long-lost memories.